A mother is made up of many parts within that have branched out into a created being. It is amazing how we carry life within us, our heartbeat shares a space with someone whose heart will beat outside of us one day. A heart that will beat to their own drum with tiny hands that will pull us close to them when in need and push us away as they find their own independence. In the midst of it all, when we fail to practice a self-care routine, we can feel like we are walking on a hamster wheel. Our kids have needs o be met but we have our needs too.
The reality of a mother’s life is that we are always adjusting. We adjust to changes in our schedule, the needs of each child, how plans need to change if something comes up, and so many other things that we might wish that we didn’t have to adjust to. We cannot compartmentalize who we are, who we are striving to become, and how the needs of our children impact our ability to slow down. This is where it matters most that we are intentional about taking care of ourselves too. It is why self-care is an essential part of motherhood.
We hold a combination of needs within us. We tend to overlook taking the time to fully identify our own needs because of the way that our motherhood journey unfolds and the rate in which we have to keep up with the pace of life. When discouragement sets in we must remind ourselves of truth. We were created to be able to manage this role, nurture it, and lean into our creator for the strength to be able to carry it through.
Let’s take a look at some different aspects of ourselves that could use some love. An overall self-care routine should meet some identified needs within us. A focus on four overall categories of self-care can help us reflect on where our efforts need to be, what parts of us feel empty or dry, in need of refreshment and renewal.
Four Aspects of Self-Care
1. Spiritual – Soul-care is a part of our inmost being that will carry us further than we thought we had the ability to go. We are complicated and beautifully designed. Created beings, made up of body, mind, and spirit. To neglect our spiritual selves is to neglect the very core of who we were created to be. The season of the pandemic may have changed what that looks like for you. Some churches are still closed due to restrictions, and some won’t be able to reopen for a myriad of reasons. As important as corporate worship is, you may find ourself in a season of having to rethink how to connect. Your soul wants to be made whole, needs communion with the creator and community with others. You can feed your soul by reflecting on your faith journey. Engage in your practice of faith. Spend more time in prayer, meditation, singing, or journaling. You can download the Bible App, complete a devotional by yourself or with others, download a podcast from a biblical teacher. Unpack where you need to be and where your identity is being reflected these days.
2. Physical – Exercise and nutrition are important aspects of our health. I am not a fitness expert but I know that there is healing in movement and nourishment. The way our bodies have been designed is a beautiful reflection of our creator. There are so many ways to care for our physical needs. Your body needs rest as well as activity. Taking care of your physical needs will require some reflection time to quiet down and truly figure out what your body is longing for. Is it sleep? Activity? Hydration? Healthy foods? A walk, run, or dance? There are plenty of options to consider. I am figuring out how to realign my physical health on a daily basis as I walk out this journey with you.
3. Mental – Why does the word “mental” get a negative vibe most of the time? This is a key component of our health. Our mind harnesses the functions of our body, the way we think about ourselves and the way that we think about others. Our thoughts lead to our emotions, which will be addressed below. When it comes to mental health, it is about determining how healthy your mind is. The mind is a powerful part of our being. We hold onto so much in this part of ourselves and it impacts everything else that we do. The mind holds our spoken and unspoken thoughts. It can be filled with loving compassion for ourselves or with whispers of self-doubt and shame. This is the part of us that manages our schedules, keeps track of everyone else’s needs, and keeps things moving forward for our kids. Are your thoughts getting cloudy? Unfocused? Distracted? We must give ourselves permission to engage in a practice that will allow the space that we need to balance our thought life, which leads to our emotional response to situations.
4. Emotional – Our emotions are deeply rooted in our thoughts. They are embedded in our limbic system, which is actually located deep within the brain. Many times, we can lose sight of the thought behind our emotional response to a situation. We may encounter an automatic fight, flight, or freeze response. It is important to recognize what our feelings are and what they mean. It is equally important to find healthy ways to cope with negative feelings so that we can continue to find the balance that our bodies need in order for us to be healthy and whole.
How are you feeling these days? It is important to name it, unpack it, and address the reality behind it. Although our feelings are real, it is important to acknowledge that our feelings have the potential to lead us astray. It is so important to get our emotions under some level of control so we can do the hard work of thinking things through. When our emotions run high, we may not always respond logically to a situation. We can lose our temper more easily and our children can be on the receiving end of something that they have no idea about. Our feelings can also warn us of a dangerous situation, help us be more alert to our surroundings, and help us prevent something bad from happening. It is always a matter of context regarding whether or not our emotions match a situation or not.
Self-care during the pandemic may have been an additional challenge. There are still ways to care for ourselves when we have to shift due to changes in our world.
When you begin to learn more about yourself, identify what you need, and make it a priority to get those needs met, you will find yourself on the path to balancing your needs with the demands of motherhood. It took me some time to figure out 5 lessons that have learned about self-care.
The road to self-care is a journey of being replenished on a daily basis through the rhythms and routines that work for you. You will be able to love your family well when you are pouring out from an overflow rather than trying to pour out of an emptiness that burnout can lead to.
Start Your Self-Care Routine Today
If you are not sure where to start on your self-care journey, it is important to know that you can start small. Download you free Self-Care Planner today and start moving towards developing a plan today!