February is a month that highlights our relationship status. But there is a relationship that we carry within ourselves every single day that can easily go unnoticed, especially on this motherhood journey. That relationship is with the person we face when we look in the mirror. The busy mom who sets her own needs aside to care for others can very easily neglect herself. Many times, we also fail to recognize the relationship that we were made to have with our creator. The one who is faithful to us despite our circumstances. How do you practice love and compassion in each of these areas of your life?
We place value and honor in our relationships with others daily. We must fight off the thought of feeling selfish when we recognize our own needs and try to initiate some action in meeting those needs. But I am here to encourage you to love the person you see in the mirror. When we measure our value and worth on external factors, on what others think, or in comparison to what we see someone else posting on social media, we are missing the deep longing within ourselves that requires attention.
If you are feeling sad, lonely, and left out during this season, I encourage you to engage in self-reflection. Sometimes we can find ourselves feeling sad and lonely even when we are in a relationship. The romantic pressure to be seen on this day, to receive an expression of love, or to stand out in some way may not be met.
Relationships, in the scope of our humanity, can be a place a refuge or a place of despair. They can be unpredictable, unexpected, and leave one feeling alone in a room full of people. Have you been there? Surrounded by others yet feeling alone at the same time?
We can easily forget that another person cannot be the one to make us whole. We are not just half of a person walking around the planet until we meet some other half to fulfill us. Our relationship status is not what makes us who we are.
Sometimes loneliness is manifested in our mood, our priorities, our prayer time…or lack thereof. When we reach a time of emotional crisis, it may be because we missed all the warning signs that told us to take notice. We carry our unmet needs until they become too heavy to bear.
As busy moms, we have a lot going on. We show up daily for the needs of others, many times at the expense of recognizing what we need for ourselves. So… I challenge you to consider how you are showing up for yourself.
Did you know that self-care is an act of love and compassion? We know how to demonstrate compassion towards others daily. Why is it so hard to demonstrate it towards the person we see in the mirror? It is a way to nurture the value and worth that we hold towards ourselves.
The relationship that our creator longs to have with us a refuge no matter what the circumstances of our present situation. We see this so clearly in scripture, particularly in stories of how Jesus interacted with women. There are three particular passages that remind me of his love for me.
- When we try to hide away from others, he meets us at the well (John 4:4 – 26).
- When others are ready to cast stones, he writes in the sand and turns the judgement with a gentle answer (John 8:1 – 11).
- When he is busy in the work of healing others, if you seek him and merely touch the hem of his garment, not only will he heal you…he will pause from his journey and acknowledge you (Luke 8: 43 – 48).
God is our safe refuge despite our circumstances. He loves you dearly, in a way that Valentine’s Day won’t capture but Good Friday and Easter Sunday will.
God wants you to love him with your heart, soul, and mind. Then he wants you to love others as you love yourself. If you aren’t loving yourself, how well can you truly love others?
How are you loving yourself these days?
We don’t have to have all the answers to the mystery of how much self-care is connected to God’s love for us. We can focus on taking one step at a time. We must keep moving forward as we discover who we are on this motherhood journey. We are more than the roles we juggle. We are deeply loved in a way that only God fully understands. It is by our relationship with him, that we can truly feel whole no matter what season we are in.
If you are having a hard time putting self-care into practice, download your free Self-Care Planner for a practical place to start.