If you found it hard to start off the new year with enthusiastic resolve, you are not alone. Actually, I can say that I am right there with you. This year I did not make a resolution, select a word for the year, or join a challenge. I did stay up for the countdown and wonder what the new year might bring. What I really need to start the new year was an intentional pause in order to assess some obstacles and challenges on my self-care and motherhood journey.
I found myself wondering whether I viewed my glass as half empty or half full based on some challenges I was juggling as the new year approached. An intentional pause shifted my perspective on another option for this question. There is another option besides being half empty or half full.
Have you paused and reflected? Reflection and processing can be a growth activity as long as it is used to propel us forward. When we get stuck in the weeds of past hurts or messy experiences, it can prevent us from moving at all. I have to admit that there have been many times when I have gotten stuck without even realizing it. That is why I continue to learn about the importance of moving forward, even if each step is small.
Reframing our experiences when goals are unmet creates a space for clarity. I flourished in many ways that weren’t directly reflected in my goals last year. I had to consider this and acknowledge the other places I journeyed even when it wasn’t part of my original plan.
My motherhood journey is currently in a very busy season. Flexibility is essential. Can you relate? Balancing our own self-care with the needs of our children leads to all sorts of unexpected twists and turns when we wish we could just stick to our own plans. This is part of why self-care is an essential part of motherhood.
Practicing an intentional pause reminded me to surrender some things. When we hold our plans with open hands in the presence of our maker, space is given to the flexibility that we need to let go. It doesn’t mean that we let go of the things that still need to get done. It means we let go of the tension, the stress, and the irritability that burnout can bring when we hold on to things too tight.
Surrender invites a sense of calm to the storm, a whispered affirmation in a loud world, and a peace beyond understanding. It is in these moments when I am more likely to envision my glass as half full. However, reflection has opened my eyes to see that the glass can also be neutral.
How is a neutral glass described? It is when you find yourself in a place that may be challenging. A place where your outlook is not positive, even though you know that you’re “supposed” to be okay. But your outlook is not negative either.
Neutral is the place where you can acknowledge the tension between the positive and negative of where you are. It is the place where you don’t feel like your best or your worst. You can see the outlook of depression heading your way but you’re not quite there. It is the place where I think of Psalm 42:5, which states, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Here are some questions to consider when your glass doesn’t feel quite full.
- Has your new year come in with some burdens of the year that just ended?
- Is there a heavy weight that is unseen but deeply felt?
- Sickness that has not been healed?
- Grief that remains deeply felt?
- Prayers that remain unanswered?
As the approach of the new year drew near, I felt stuck. My usual half-filled glass felt neutral. My usual anticipation was depleted. Instead of working hard to live up to some undeclared expectation, I decided to incorporate a specific pause in several areas.
The world didn’t necessarily change because of some revelation that I declared or publicly shared…these small decisions initiated a change within myself that I needed. Deciding to pause gave me permission to slow down, created the space to do so, and allowed me to rest. Is that something that you need too?
Let’s determine to take some time to reflect on where we have been in order to determine where we are going. There is no need to make a resolution about what is to come. The only need present is to take one step at a time. Move forward, even when your thoughts bring you back to a place that was difficult.
Some hopeful thoughts to consider as January becomes a distant memory in the new year are…
- The daylight hours are getting longer.
- Sometimes, I can see blue beyond the grey clouds that cover the midwest sky.
- Taking a deep breath can calm down the fast pace that my body wants to keep.
I am still reflecting on my daily practices to identify the things that matter the most to me and my family. I can do this with or without a resolution and that is okay.
As we continue on our journey into 2022, would you describe your glass as half full, half empty, or neutral?
May you take the time to refill what has become empty, practice self-compassion with your thoughts, words, and actions. May you find the determination and strength to move forward, even if it is one small step at a time.
If you’re not quit sure how to start a self-care practice, download your free copy of the Self-Care Planner that I designed to help you get started.
Wow. An intentional pause. The idea is foreign but, oh, so inviting. Well stated and expressed.
Hello Cleo,
You inspired some of the content in this article. I hope you were able to notice how a glass may not be clearly half empty or half full. What if there was another way to look at it?
Thank you so much!
Aida