I have been a mother for more than half of my lifetime. In April of 1996 I gave birth to my first daughter. I have watched her transition from her first steps to military boots, into her own motherhood journey, and now finishing up her college education. As she stepped into her own 26th chapter, I had so much to reflect on. Each child we birth is uniquely designed and loved. As my firstborn, this daughter has been my first teacher on this motherhood journey.
Each child we birth is uniquely designed and loved. As my firstborn, this daughter has been my first teacher on this motherhood journey.
I was 19 when I had her. I tend to say I had her a month before I turned 20. I have noticed that it takes away the sting I receive from someone’s expression when they realize that I was a teen mom. I was in the process of breaking several generational barriers but teenage motherhood did not end up being one of them. Culturally and environmentally, I had experienced some life experiences beyond my biological age so I didn’t feel like the child that I really was. Challenging life experiences tend to influence us to age beyond a biological number.
I was in my second year of college. I walked around campus looking out of place. I struggled to sit in the lecture halls when my baby bump grew past certain seating arrangements. I had no idea how my life would change. As the first in my family to attend a university, I was determined to keep moving forward in my college education. I made arrangements with all of my professors, worked ahead on all of the assignments, attended class until the day before I had her, and returned to campus to complete my final exams at the end of the semester.
Fast forward 26 years…
In December of 2021, I walked around that same campus with her for her new student orientation. I sat in the lecture hall and remembered those days from 26 years ago. I sat at the type of desk where I used to look down at my baby bump and wondered how life would change and unfold when my baby arrived. Of course I was emotional as the nostalgia settled in. We had come full circle up to this point on the road we are traveling, yet we have so much further to go.
We had come full circle up to this point on the road we are traveling, yet we have so much further to go.
One thing I have learned on this motherhood journey is that I am only part of the story that each of my children are writing in their own lives. While we have the opportunity to influence their stories in so many ways, our influence shifts throughout their life experience.
She continues to write her story as she transitions to her own college experience. Sometimes I wonder how we arrived here so fast. I realize that we arrived here by living our lives one day at a time. We pushed forward through every challenge along the way. Sometimes we needed a community to help us get through, other times we needed privacy, but we always needed a prayer connection with God.
Sometimes we needed a community to help us get through, other times we needed privacy, but we always needed a prayer connection with God.
What are your motherhood reflections?
I cried through this entire blog. It is the story of so many women out there. Thank you for sharing, and may your daughter find her college experience as rewarding as you have. Your writing is excellent and communicates well.
Cleo,
Thank you so much for your kind words. When motherhood comes full circle in such a direct way, I find myself shedding tears too.
Aida